Essential Mom is the premiere website in Westchester for busy moms. Whether you're looking for a summer camp, childcare, shopping, kid-friendly restaurant, activities to do with your child, what's doing at the library, Essential Mom has the answer. It's where you'll find the most updated listings, as well as classified ads, party venues, where to order a birthday cake and get it delivered, too.

The site, developed and maintained by Gretchen Menzies, a Westchester mom and trained social worker and former project manager for youth and family programs, is designed to streamline the process of who to call and where to go for anything and everything related to your child, including those ballet shoes you must find before next Tuesday when it's already Friday now.

Menzies got the idea for the site after the birth of her second child. "When I had my first child, I continued to work part time as a social worker, but after my second, I felt I couldn't balance the two worlds," Menzies said. She added that she was frequently frustrated by the challenge of researching kiddy resources when she was working part time, and imagined it would be so much easier when she was a stay-at-home mom.

"The online concept came out of my desire to have a community center that was available 24/7, when I was awake in the middle of the night, when the kids were napping or whenever I had a question," Menzies said.

Because of her background in social work, she also wanted the site to be able to provide important support and community to moms on their parenting questions and concerns.

In the beginning, Menzies spent a lot of sleepless nights doing her research. Now she fills the site with information she uncovers by being out in the community with her own kids. "I just share the wealth of what I find, hear and know," she said. "Moms work on word-of-mouth network in general, and I have a great community of women around me who like to share"

It's not all word of mouth, though, as Menzies has cultivated a team of non-profit organizations who send her updated information about events, things to do with kids, classes and more. New to the site this spring are blogs, forums and review sections which allow moms to connect and support each other through the online community.

Why do moms in Westchester need a Web site like Essential Mom? Is it really harder or more stressful to be a parent in Westchester this century? Are there too many choices and no way to tell the apart?

"I think it's stressful to be a mom anywhere," Menzies said. "Parenting is by far the best and most difficult thing I have done because the choices you make affect the life of this little person in ways that are terrifying to think about." She said she does think that parenting in Westchester has its own particular character because there are so many choices and decisions to make. The pressure to make the right ones is on, but Menzies described the whole experience as "daunting, but exciting."

Through www.EssentialMom.com and her weekly newsletter, Menzies tries to provide "a sense of order, as well as tips and suggestion about the job of parenting." Maintaining a sense of humor, she said, plays a big part. "I always try to make parents feel they don't have to live up to some uber-parent model."

Parenting in 2008, Menzies said, is different than it was, say 20 years ago. "I think we're expected to be everything for our children," she said. "We're their social outlet, their calendar coordinators and their moral guides in what can be a very confusing, overwhelming and scary world. And while we're working to shepherd them, we're also trying to be wives, prove ourselves in the workplace or be super moms if we choose to stay at home." The elusive happy medium, she said, "is pretty tough on women who are used to achieving.

"There's a lot of uncertainty in parenting and a lot of choices: when to send kids to school, what shots you should get, what to feed your child, what parenting style you choose and so forth. The amount of information we need to process alone is intimidating."